Pattern Your Life

I have been thinking a lot about the training schedule for EMBARK. I have been planning through what will be taught, when it will be taught, how it will be taught. As I consider these things, I was reminded of a very important truth. Jesus said, “But the student who is fully trained will become like the teacher” (Luke 6:40).

It is humbling to think I can plan the best training, but what I teach will not be as important as who I am. The EMBARK students are not going to become like the training, they are going to become like their teachers. I have always been a bit shocked that Paul would say, “Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example” (Philippians 3:17). I would rather have my students follow what I say (which hopefully points them to Jesus) and not necessarily pattern their lives after mine (which may not always point them to Jesus).

EMBARK does not give me the luxury of asking the students to do what I say regardless of what my life communicates. I will be with these young leaders every day, all day for four months. They will not only see what I teach in a classroom setting, but they will watch how I live at home and in the context of my ministry. We will attend church together, play together, work together, train together, and relax together. As a result, these students will pattern their lives after mine, whether they intend to or not.

This has me seeking God to build into me the things He wants to build into the EMBARK young leaders. If my life is the pattern, we have some work to do. This means I don’t just get to talk about team, I have to live team. If I say I value relational evangelism, I better being sharing Jesus in my relationships. If I want the EMBARK students to take initiative, I should be willing to take the first steps. If I want them to live by faith, I need to walk through whatever God puts in my path.

Life is pretty hard right now. Whether it is working out my visa or recruiting students to EMBARK or looking to support my family from a distance, everything feels very much out of my control and totally dependent on God’s work. I have to wonder if God is making sure He is forming in me the things He wants to form in the EMBARK students. Every situation I find myself in right now has the opportunity to shape me to be a little more like Jesus. I get a bit closer to patterning my life after Jesus. Patterning my life after Jesus makes me more able to say, “Pattern your life after mine”. I am not there yet, but hardship seems to bring me closer to that invitation.

Never Abandoned

This past Sunday at church the sermon was on the suffering of Jesus and what that means for our lives. The speaker highlighted how Jesus experienced emotional suffering, social suffering, and physical suffering.

I was thinking about the invitation to suffer like Jesus suffered. 1 Peter 2:21 says, “For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps.” Peter goes on in 4:12-13 by saying, “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.”

We will suffer. If Christ experienced emotional, social, and physical suffering, we should not be surprised if we experience similar suffering. All these types of suffering have been very real during my time in Thailand.

The speaker went on to talk about Jesus’ greatest suffering. He spoke of Christ’s separation from God because of our sin. Jesus had never experienced this separation, but He called out on the cross as one abandoned by God.

In that moment God reminded me that while I may experience many different types of suffering, I will never have to experience this type of suffering. God will never abandon me. My sin has been taken and will never separate me from God. 2 Corinthians 4:8-10 says, “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” Suffering will come, but God will never abandon me. There is great comfort in this truth. 

But He is Good

Saturday, I walked from my house to the small town about 1.5 miles down the road. On my way back, I was praying and listening to my IPod. The song Aslan by Kendall Payne started to play and as I listened to the words, tears started rolling down my face. God is doing a lot right now that I don’t understand, but He is good.

Aslan by Kendall Payne

Don't stop your crying on my account

A frightening lion, no doubt

He's not safe; no he's not safe

Are you tempted now to run away?

The King above all Kings is coming down

But He won't say the words you wish that he would

Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could

He won't think the thoughts you think He should

But He is good; He is good

I know you're thirsty; the water is free

But I should warn you; it costs everything

Well, He's not fair; no He's not fair

When He fixes what's beyond repair

And graces everyone that don't deserve

But He won't say the words you wish that he would

Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could

He won't think the thoughts you think He should

But He is good; He is good

No one knows Him whom eyes never seen

No, I don't know Him but He knows me

He knows me, He knows me

Lay down your layers, shed off your skin

But without His incision, you can't enter in

He cuts deep; yeah He cuts deep

When the risk is great and the talk is cheap

But never leaves a wounded one behind

But He won't say the words you wish that he would

Oh, he don't do the deeds you know that He could

He won't think the thoughts you think He should

But He is good; He is good

Left in the Boat

I am back reading the Gospel of Mark right now. It was time to return to the Gospels and be reminded of who Jesus is and what it looks like to follow Him. This week I was journaling through Jesus’ call of the first disciples.

“One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, ‘Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!’ And they left their nets at once and followed him. A little farther up the shore Jesus saw Zebedee’s sons, James and John, in a boat repairing their nets. He called them at once, and they also followed him, leaving their father, Zebedee, in the boat with the hired men.” (Mark 1:16-20)

Because of this season, the part that stood out to me was that James and John followed Jesus immediately, leaving their father in the boat. James and John lived out what Jesus said was required to be a disciple in Luke 14:26, “Anyone who comes to me but refuses to let go of father, mother, spouse, children, brothers, sisters—yes, even one's own self! —can't be my disciple.”

I am not entirely comfortable with this teaching. My first thought when I read that James and John left their father in the boat was, “How soon afterward did they see him?” They were still in the same village at least for several days. While following Jesus around, they were often back in the same area. Did James and John go home to visit their father? It had to be easier to do what they did than to be living on the other side of the world. At least I like to think it was easier. I know following Jesus is never easy (Luke 14:27).

I know my call is first to Jesus. I know everything and everyone else comes after. Sometimes the call to follow Jesus means leaving my father (or mother) in the boat. Other times that call means being in my home with my family while Jesus brings healing (Mark 1:29-31). So every day I am learning to follow Jesus, whether that is toward my family or far away from them.

The Wilderness

Before Jesus started his public ministry, he went to the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-2). Before Elijah saw God and was able to resume his work as a prophet, he went to the wilderness (1 Kings 19:4). It was in the wilderness that Jesus and Elijah dealt with the question that had been posed to Eve in the Garden, “Did God really say…?” (Genesis 3:1).

Jesus chose to answer each question with Scripture affirming that God had really said what He said. Elijah just wanted to die and he needed to be strengthened by angels before he could continue his journey to find the answer to the question.

Did God really say? This is an important question to answer. The wilderness raises that question. In the wilderness, an answer to that question must be given.

My Mom was diagnosed with cancer almost two weeks ago. This news launched me further into a wilderness I was already journeying through. Transitioning to Thailand, launching EMBARK, and now my Mom’s diagnosis forced me to face the question. Did God really say?

Did God really say He would never leave me or forsake me? Did God really say He could heal? Did God really say He would work everything together for good? Did God really say to be strong and courageous because He is with me? Did God really say He had plans to prosper and not to harm, to give hope and a future?

God really did say. He has said so much. In this wilderness, I must cling to what God has said and ask Him how to live that out when fear and hope intermingle, when I feel alone and so far away, when all I want is to be present for my Mom.

I believe what God says. This does not make it easy. I don’t always know what it should look like, but I believe what God says. I believe this wilderness will better equip me for what lies ahead because I believe what God says. Now I have to walk that out.

I start by praying for my Mom’s healing.