Life in Boxes

Moving is a bit unsettling. There is something a little unnerving about seeing your life packed up and contained in boxes. It requires some reflection. What do I get rid of? What is important enough to pack? Why is this of value to me?

From the first months of making my decision to move to Germany, I had determined to ship my belongings from Thailand to Germany. I knew it would be an investment, but I also knew there were going to be some things (artwork, dishes, games, books, etc.) that I would want to have with me in my new home.

So I agonized over the decision of what to take with me. I evaluated what was important enough to be considered part of my “home”. I second-guessed. I pared down. I wondered how I would feel if my shipment got lost or damaged. If these were things that were important to me, important enough to spend the money to ship, they would also be things I would grieve the loss of if something went wrong with the shipment.

I spent time thinking about “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. I spent time thinking about what defines home for me.

Then the shipping company came to evaluate my things and to give me an estimate of what it would take to ship my life to Germany. I had given myself a “worst case scenario” number and when I received the estimate, it was higher than I imagined.

This caused me to reconsider everything. Should I just sell everything I own and try to repurchase when I arrived in Germany? What about the things that were irreplaceable, the things that had no equivalent in Germany? Should I try to fly everything to the States and then to Germany? This was impossible with my stopover in Taiwan on the way back. Should I use FedEx or DHL? It turned out both the cost and timing were prohibitive.

I felt discouraged. I don’t own very much, I wasn’t shipping furniture or anything that felt extravagant. My life is pretty simple. Now I was to determine greater value of what I owned and it was challenging how I think about home and possessions.

My parents and dear friends offered wise advice. Along the way, one friend observed that as missionaries few of us own homes, but what little we have speaks of home and so it has value from the memories attached and the sense of belonging it brings to our transient lives. I was encouraged to contact the shipping company again to see if there was any wiggle room in the price and I was encouraged to resolve to proceed with the shipping, regardless of the cost.

Hebrews 11: 13b-16 says, “They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”

The shipping company did come back with a lower price, although still not matching my budget request. However, I had settled to take these memories and pieces of home with me. I am a foreigner and a nomad. I recognize that this world is not my home and I acknowledge the things I am taking with me to Germany will not last forever. These few things do serve as a reminder of the journey God has me on from place to place and build a bridge from my past to my future, until I finally reach the homeland God is preparing for me.