Say Goodbye

From my early days of overseas ministry, I was introduced to the acronym RAFT. We were encouraged to build our RAFT to guide us through our transitions. So here is what the acronym means…

R: Reconciliation- Make sure you seek to set things right with people before you leave or the problems could follow you to your next location.

A: Affirmation- Take the time to affirm people in your life, communicating what you appreciate about them.

F: Farewell- Say goodbye to people, places, and things that have been significant to you during your time.

T: Think Destination- Look forward to the next season with joyful anticipation, preparing yourself for what lies ahead.

Saying goodbye to my favorite barista

In every transition, I have attempted to build my RAFT and finish well. I have found it to be a valuable

exercise, helping me to navigate goodbyes and be prepared for a new season. This includes taking time to write cards or verbally express how I appreciate people and places and the impact they have had on my life. I make sure to seize the moment to say goodbye, in case there is not another opportunity.

With this frame of reference, it still surprises me sometimes when people who have been on the mission field for many years struggle to say goodbye. Were they never taught the RAFT? Have so many goodbyes become too painful to handle? Is it working better for them to deny goodbyes are happening?

I had a dear friend almost refuse my farewell card because she was sure she would see me again in the next two weeks and wanted to put off the finality of our goodbye.

Last week I saw a great opportunity to express to another influential person in my life how I had been impacted by his investment during my time here. He stopped me from saying anything with the promise to talk to me on Sunday, which would be our last time seeing one another. No matter how I tried to seize the moment, he would not let me finish my sentence.

Still other friends seem surprised when I hand them a card or express my appreciation for them. They find it unusual and inspiring that I would take the opportunity to communicate my thankfulness. 

Paul understood the importance of goodbyes. Throughout Acts, you read about Paul taking the time to say goodbye to the believers in each of the cities where he stayed, even if that meant going back into town after he had been beaten or stoned. In Acts 20, Paul called the Ephesian elders together one last time. He affirmed the work God did among them and the journey God was unfolding for Paul as he headed to Rome. In verses 36-38, Luke writes, “When he had finished speaking, he (Paul) knelt and prayed with them. They all cried as they embraced and kissed him goodbye. They were sad most of all because he had said that they would never see him again. Then they escorted him down to the ship.”

Goodbyes are hard, but they are good and they are necessary. I have found such joy and affirmation in taking the opportunity to say goodbye, expressing thankfulness for the relationship. Every time I say goodbye in Chiang Mai, I am honoring the work God has done in my time here and filled with anticipation of what comes next. Honestly, I have loved my goodbyes.

So I will continue to take steps to build my RAFT and celebrate the life God has given me here in Thailand and the life He is preparing for me in Germany, whether others are willing to embrace the goodbyes or not.